I lost my job eight months ago and I have a wife and a daughter to try and take care of. My wife and I have been married for three years now, but together for five total, and our daughter is just 4 months old.
Before I married my wife, I promised her with all of my heart that I would always take good care of her and our children. I wanted to give her that guarantee so she would never have to worry about finances as long as we were married.
With this economy, I feel like I have broken my promise to her. I have applied everywhere and although I have gotten a few interviews, it seems hopeless and like no one is going to hire me. I feel like I am not the same man who married her and she deserves to be taken care of.
I don't know what to do and I am afraid that I am going to lose her although she always tells me she is not going anywhere. I am very disappointed in myself. Any advice you can give me would be very helpful.
Dear G. Anonymous,
You sound like you care about your family very much and that is very admirable. The fact that your wife is reassuring you that she is not going to go anywhere means that she is trying to give you that security.
I am sure she can tell that you have been down on yourself lately and she wants you to know that she is not going anywhere despite the situation you guys are in. She sounds like a very understanding person.
The economy has taken a toll on various households in our community. The key in trying to beat the economy stresses is to try and stay as positive as you possibly can, and to be persistent in your job searches and follow ups.
Use every interview as a resource, even if you don't get picked for the job, you can at least use the interview as practice for the next one. If you don't get the job, keep trying to apply to other places. In some cases, you may even be able to ask the person that interviewed you why they didn't choose you for the position.
It may not even have anything to do with you at all, but perhaps budget cuts are the reason why they didn't hire you, for example.
Network with every single person that you know. Your neighbor might have a friend that has a friend whose boss is looking for another assistant, etc.
The more you network, the more chances you have of getting your name out there and your foot in a door.
Don't let the economy bring you down. Remember that you are fighting to keep you, your daughter, and your wife afloat, so don't let the economy take that away from you. Take any job that you can get, even if the pay is not what you are looking for, hours, etc.
At least something is better than nothing. And when you find that job you were looking for to begin with then at least you were helping your family out in the meantime.
Aside from being persistent with your job search, you can still show your wife that you have kept your promise of taking care of her by telling her you love her, hugging her, listening to her, etc. There are plenty of things you guys can do as a family for cheap if you cannot afford to go out.
Don't let this economy bring you down. You have a wife and a daughter that obviously love you dearly and are not going anywhere. They are obviously not disappointed in you, so being disappointed in yourself is not going to solve anything.
Remember that it is not you, it is the economy. If it was just you, then why are thousands of other families struggling out there as well? You only live once, so don't let the economy make you feel disappointed in yourself, for this is time you are wasting on something negative. Time that you will never be able to get back.
Instead, fight back and beat the economy with persistence, positivity, networking and a little faith, and I guarantee you that things will get better for you sooner than you know it.
• Ahwatukee Foothills resident Michelle "Mikey" Arana is a 2003 graduate of Mountain Pointe High School. She offers free peer advice, however, Mikey is not licensed or trained, just a fellow friend to the community. All inquiries made to Mikey will remain anonymous unless legal issues occur. She can be reached at www.myaskmikey.com or firstname.lastname@example.org.