Resiliency: You choose whether to thrive or dive - Ahwatukee Foothills News: Valley And State

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Resiliency: You choose whether to thrive or dive

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Posted: Friday, January 22, 2010 12:00 am

As you start this new year, you have probably reflected on past resolutions and wondered why you haven’t followed through. Much of the problem could be you weren’t committed to your plan by living each day intentionally.

So, to make 2010 different, you must first determine what you most want to improve. Is it your health, your job, your finances or your marriage? Then determine what you are going to do to change it. If each day is intentional, you increase your chances for change.

If you choose to be resilient, then you choose to overcome whatever the past has dealt. If you fear the future, or regret the past, then you are unable to enjoy the present.

This article is more than setting New Year’s resolutions, it is about deciding to be resilient and intentional. You choose whether you want to thrive or dive. You choose whether you want to stay stuck, make excuses and quit, or learn from the past, let go and move forward.

Being resilient is adapting well in the face of adversity. It is finding strength regardless of the crisis. It can also be defined as the capacity to “beat the odds.”

Resilience is letting go and moving on, expressing feelings rather than clinging to them, embracing a strong support system and understanding that “bad” feelings won’t last.

This year can be the year to be authentic, expressing your feelings honestly including; anger, love, appreciation and grief. Moving from victim to survivor is accepting that you can be better in spite of life’s difficulties, embracing what life has handed you, maintaining a playful spirit, learning from your experiences, and being able to effectively weave and reweave the fabric of your life.

Making mistakes and facing past failures does not define you. If you want to be resilient then leave the past behind. Face each day intentionally. Increase your odds of succeeding by knowing what researchers have found: setting a goal gives you a 10 percent chance of succeeding; consciously deciding to adopt that plan will give you a 25 percent chance; designing a plan and putting it on a timetable gives you a 50 percent chance. But, your odds increase to 95 percent when you make a commitment to another person and set an accountability schedule.

By employing these concepts, you can make this year your best year yet!


Kristina Welker is a doctor of psychology, a licensed professional counselor and a member of the Ahwatukee Behavioral Health Network. Reach her at (480) 893-6767 or

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