Don’t re-gift a lousy gift as a ‘push gift’ - Ahwatukee Foothills News: Communitylife

default avatar
Welcome to the site! Login or Signup below.
Logout|My Dashboard

Don’t re-gift a lousy gift as a ‘push gift’

Font Size:
Default font size
Larger font size

Posted: Thursday, March 4, 2010 12:00 am

Dear Mom, Interrupted:

My wife is pregnant with our first child, and she’s telling me that she deserves something called a “push gift” after the baby is born.

What the heck is that? Did you get a gift like that when you had your babies?

Signed, Pushmi Pullyu


Dear Pushy:

Oh, you poor thing. Here you thought that you only had to keep track of birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and a variety of anniversaries, up to and including when you first met, first kissed, and first argued about gifts for all those anniversaries.

Simply put, a “push gift” is a crass name for what you give the mother of your child after she, ahem, “pushes” out the baby, because quite frankly, I think we can all agree that there just aren’t enough gift giving occasions for men to feel inadequate about. Women who wind up with Caesarean sections are also technically entitled to push gifts, with an extra bonus for catheterizations. Push gifts range from flowers to expensive pieces of jewelry.

The concept of rewarding your baby mama with baubles has roots in England and India. There are some guidelines regarding scale: in India, you’d be expected to come up with a bigger gift if your wife produced a boy.

A jewelry store in this country first presented the term in 2005 when they advertised diamond earrings with the line “She delivered your first born, now give her twins.” Smelling an obnoxious opportunity, a push present registry was first introduced in 2007.

The editor of a prominent baby ezine observed that this kind of gift was “more and more an expectation of moms these days that they deserve something for bearing the burden for nine months, getting sick, ruining their body. The guilt really gets piled on.”

Wait a minute: A study conducted in 2004 concluded that 60 percent of pregnancies were planned. If I went out of my way to bear this burden, get sick, and ruin my body, do I deserve diamond earrings? If I spent the first 10 years of my fertile life composing a list of baby names and telling everyone I knew that all I wanted was a houseful of children, should I be the one who’s getting a gift here when I just got everything I ever wanted?

In these circumstances, shouldn’t I be giving my husband a “gift gift?”

But this isn’t helping you. OK, the answer is: It depends. If she stood over you waving an ovulation predictor and screaming at you to quit watching The Golf Channel RIGHT NOW, maybe not. If you didn’t even have to turn off SportsCenter, maybe you should get her a little something.

And in all fairness, the labor distribution in this baby-making enterprise is, in fact, a little unevenly distributed.

Me? Fifteen years ago, my husband did produce a gift after I produced a 10-pound baby boy, which in India would have gotten me a diamond necklace and no chores for a year. Dad, Interrupted, who hadn’t gotten the memo about that twin thing, proudly gave me a copy of Rush Limbaugh’s book See, I Told You So, which he himself had received as a gift.

So let this serve as a cautionary tale: Don’t re-gift a lousy gift as a push gift.


Ahwatukee Foothills resident Elizabeth Evans can be reached at Her column appears monthly.

More about

More about

More about

  • Discuss

Here's the real reason Hillary Clinton sent Michelle Obama to Arizona

The Clinton campaign is going all-in for a state it doesn't even need to win. On Monday, Hillary Clinton's campaign manager announced that her…

Published: October 21, 2016 - 3:30 am @…

Will Donald Trump Stain Jared Kushner Forever?

Ross Barkan A A For a young millionaire on Park Avenue with all the predispositions of his peers, little can be worse for the personal brand t…

Published: October 21, 2016 - 3:22 am @…

Take flight: USA TODAY Network debuts VR show

LOS ANGELES — USA TODAY Network debuted a first-of-its kind weekly virtual reality news show Thursday, inviting viewers to soar in 360-degrees…

Published: October 21, 2016 - 2:56 am @…

Sentencing set for Friday in Phoenix daycare death

PHOENIX, AZ - Sentencing is set for Friday for two people who pleaded guilty to the 2012 daycare death of a two-year-old girl. Ryan Reed and A…

Published: October 21, 2016 - 12:22 am @…

A Throwback Look At Chicana Culture In The ’90s

Veteranas and Rucas is an Instagram account dedicated to the SoCal ’90s party crew scene, which Guadalupe Rosales—New York-based, Los Angeles-…

Published: October 20, 2016 - 11:22 pm @

Long-time Arizona sheriff Arpaio trails in re-election bid: poll

PHOENIX Embattled Arizona lawman Joe Arpaio, whose get-tough policies to fight illegal immigration and praise of Republican presidential candi…

Published: October 20, 2016 - 10:28 pm @…

The Art of the Rout: What a Trump Loss Does to the G.O.P.

Donald Trump knows polls. He knows how to locate polls the moment they are posted, how to condense polls to tweetable brevity, and how to unve…

Published: October 20, 2016 - 10:24 pm @…

Texas’ best kept secret? A 120-mile-long canyon that’s grand in its own right.

Hiking in canyon country, you can drive yourself nuts spotting phantom creatures among the cliffs. That bobcat skulking along a ridge? Actuall…

Published: October 20, 2016 - 10:20 pm @…

Arizona election workers starting final preparations for November 8th

PHOENIX - Arizona's Secretary of State's Office is working to ensure the election is tamper-proof, even as Republican presidential nominee Don…

Published: October 20, 2016 - 9:28 pm @…

Iconic flag from September 11th to fly in front of Arizona State Capitol

PHOENIX - The American flag featured as part of iconic images taken in the aftermath of the September 11th terror attacks in New York is makin…

Published: October 20, 2016 - 8:58 pm @…

Facebook on Facebook

Twitter on Twitter


Subscribe to via RSS

RSS Feeds


Most Popular

Online poll