Are you where you want to be with your career, home life, health and relationships?

Identifying what holds you back may be the start to making big changes that lead to happiness. Commonly we stand in our own way. It might be out of fear, feelings of being overwhelmed or lack of self-value.

One form of fear is based on lack of information. We tend to fear what we do not know or understand, and with vivid imaginations we make up things worse than what might be factual. Knowledge is the solution here so ask questions, do some research and save yourself from the "what ifs."

A second form is fear of failure, common in those of us living with self-doubt or lack of confidence. We may have received a message that we are not OK, or not "good enough."

If you have been set up to feel you have fallen short, it is difficult to see your way through the speed bumps of life we all experience. Changing this pattern takes a leap of faith; it requires us to believe in our abilities and ourselves. Without hopefulness we remain stuck.

Tips to help move beyond those fear blocks:

• Collect evidence. We have positive experiences that show we can be successful with work and relationships of all kinds. Make a list of the compliments, projects you have completed successfully and the valuable people in your life. The factual picture is likely to be more positive than you imagine.

• Fake it until you make it. Make positive affirming statements about yourself and your work. Say, "I am!" "I have!" "I will!" These affirmative statements reach the subconscious mind and create positive reinforcement and confidence. Avoid statements of "I'll try" or "I am going to..." Your brain hears these statements and says, "Fine, let me know when you want to get started."

Start today to make positive movement in your life.

Gigi Veasey is a licensed clinical social worker, licensed independent substance abuse counselor and executive director of Alcohol Recovery Solutions, Inc., a licensed outpatient clinic for addiction in Ahwatukee Foothills. Reach her at (480) 496-9760 or visit

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