I have a friend that is very shallow and always seems to pick out the worst in everyone. She is constantly being negative about every single person she comes into contact with and as much as I love my friend, I don’t know how much I can take of it anymore. She does it especially when it comes to dating. A guy can be the sweetest ever and if she finds a stain on his tooth, a weird looking toe nail, or blemished skin it’s over and she won’t even tell the guy anything, she just bails on him.
How can I approach this subject to her because I have known her for years and I can’t take it anymore?
— Had Enough
Dear Had Enough,
Handling a shallow pal may not be as difficult as you think, although surely it is not a discussion you have clearly been looking forward to having with her. Obviously, this behavior has been going on for a while, so now might be the best time ever to approach her about it.
Simply tell her that it bothers you that she is constantly being negative and putting others down as well as finding faults with everyone she comes into contact with. Explain to her that what she is doing is rude and disrespectful and that you are sick and tired of it. It might be better to also explain that how she treats people is very hurtful and maybe even turn the tables to put herself in their shoes as well. Ask her how would she like it if others treated her the way she is treating everyone else?
The more you sit back and say nothing, the more prone you are into having an outburst and going off on her. You can either sit back and say nothing while counting down to the day you explode, or you can say something to her about it. She may not even realize how hurtful she’s being.
If you do decide to say something to her and she continues or disagrees with you on how she is acting, then you need to ask yourself if that is the type of friend or person you want to keep in your life.
• Ahwatukee Foothills resident Michelle “Mikey” Arana is a 2003 graduate of Mountain Pointe High School. She offers free peer advice, however, Mikey is not licensed or trained, just a fellow friend to the community. All inquiries made to Mikey will remain anonymous unless legal issues occur. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.