Can mom and dad live alone anymore?

Many of us who have been watching our parents struggle more and more, while trying to live on their own have asked this question more than once. Sometimes we ask it after seeing our parents week after week with more memory problems. Sometimes we ask it after flying home to visit and are shocked at how much their health has failed in just six months. In the end, we worry if the right thing is to encourage our parents to move into an assisted living environment. This can get very complicated if our parents wish to stay home.

In my opinion, it all comes down to a quality of life issue. Would my parents rather stay home and struggle, even if there is a significant risk to their health to do so? Many seniors would rather spend their last season of life at home, regardless of the risk involved. If this is the case, it is important to consider a few things.

1. Weigh out the risks. What are the concerns with mom and dad living alone? Some concerns are more risky than others. Are they forgetful? At risk for scam artists? Not taking medicine properly? At risk for falling in their home? Not safe with the stove? Unable to clean, do laundry or make meals?

2. Can those risks be handled at home? For example, many times people will hire extra help in the home for cleaning, laundry and helping with bathing. Many people have disabled the stove and oven and replaced it with a microwave. Meals on Wheels is very helpful for many.

3. Keeping up with their health is important. I recommend making sure mom and dad have seen their primary care physician recently. If they aren't as independent in their home or are struggling with their walking, having their doctor order physical therapy and occupational therapy in the home is helpful. If memory is a concern, I highly recommend calling the Banner Alzheimer's Institute (602-239-6900). They help with all memory disorders and do what they do very, very well. Also, Hospice of the Valley has a wonderful memory program that sends out nurses and other professionals to your parent's home to help them with their memory struggles.

4. Keep in mind, things aren't always perfect in assisted living. It can be very expensive. More importantly, just because a senior moves to a nursing home, doesn't mean they won't fall and there won't be mistakes with medicine. I have seen many times where a senior is moved out of their home because their children are worried they will fall and hurt themselves, and then the senior falls and breaks a hip in the nursing home.

I encourage people to weigh out the risks and the benefits to all living options, keeping their parent's happiness and quality of life at the top of the list.

Linda Schlenker is an occupational therapist specializing in home health care and fall prevention among the elderly. For more information, visit www.safeandindependent.com or call (602) 576-3828.